Lying broken on the floor
trying not to feel the pain
of all my bruises
and deep lacerations.
Trying not to open my eyes
so I won’t have to see
all the carnage I allowed
and the damage I caused,
Keeping my eyes closed
so I won’t have to look
at the accumulation of scars
from every day of my life.
Lying still and waiting
to find the strength
to rise above
and continue on
despite my wounds
and all the scars
that are invisible to see.
They asked if I was depressed
and I told them the truth;
of course I am –
how could I not be.
Humans are social creatures
and I am a human,
therefore I am a social creature,
and now I’m forced to live my life
In front of these monitors.
I can only see other people and places;
I cannot touch,
I cannot feel,
I cannot taste
or smell.
This is not living.
A robot in my chair
would be more productive –
and it would never get depressed.
Of course I am depressed I said;
how can I be otherwise?
He stood on his balcony looking out over the cityscape to the south. The red glow of the sunset cast an eerie light over the downtown core as wisps of smoke rose from buildings and factories. The streetlights flickered constantly, as if deciding whether or not to remain on.
He felt completely alone.
He had never married or had children. An only child himself, he remained devoted to his parents and lived just down the street from the house in which he’d grown up. Just him and his cat.
Alone.
His parents had passed away a few weeks ago from carbon monoxide poisoning. He was filled with guilt; he should have made sure the batteries in the CO2 detectors had been changed. He felt responsible.
They died in their sleep; together, but alone.
Today he had to put his cat to sleep. At 18 she’d had a long life, but her kidneys had finally failed. Damn! The timing really hurt.
And now he was truly alone.